They're Really Bad Eggs
by mindlessbeauty
Summary: What will happen when a girl who is both fascinated and terrified of the sea meets Captain Jack Sparrow?
1. Tortuga

The sea water created such a wonderful sensation for Catherine. She walked calmly along the beach, holding up many skirts and taking in the beauty around her. Gentle breezes pulled her light brown hair back from her face as she strolled along. She closed her dark blue eyes slightly as she took in her sourroundings. 'I could get used to this, I'm sure.' She thought to herself as she grinned. Catherine had always thought the sea was beautiful. She was, however, terrified to be asail.  
  
Just as she was getting comfortable with her surroundings, she felt a sharp poke to her side.  
  
"'Ey, miss . . . wake up!" She heard the slurred words only vaguely as she slowly came to her senses. "Are you okay love?"  
  
"What?" She asked softly. She slowly propped herself up on her elbows and felt a sharp sting in her head. "Oh, I have a headache."  
  
The strange man looked at her curiously. "How is it that a fine lady such as ye'rself came to be sleepin' in the middle of Tortuga?"  
  
Catherine faced the man and immediately focused on his dark eyes, they had a mysterious appeal to them and she couldn't help but stare. "Or maybe that isn't the proper question?" He slurred. Catherine could tell he was drunk but the way he spoke, and then noticed him swaying slightly as he crouched over her, trying to keep his balance.  
  
"I . . . I'm not really quite sure Mr. . ."  
  
"Jack Sparrow. Captain, if you will." He grinned, revealing glittering gold teeth. Still, she thought, he was very handsome.  
  
"Well, Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow . . . I'm not quite sure what happened to me." She struggled to her feet and found that her legs were fairly wobbly. 'What did happen to me?' She thought as she brushed some dirt off her simple canvas skirt.  
  
"Well then maybe I can inquire to your name?" He also stood up to face her. He noticed her slender waist and curvy hips as he did, and she couldn't help but notice his stare lingering at her breasts.  
  
"It's Catherine. Thank you Mr. Sparrow, it was really quite nice to meet you, but I must be on my way." Catherine began to stumble off, still not quite sure what had happened to her. All she knew was that her head hurt and she couldn't quite keep her balance.  
  
"Just wait a minute, love!" Jack called after her. Catherine turned around and awaited what he had to say. "How about you let me buy you a drink?"  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Sparrow, but if you think I am a whore I can assure you I am not." Catherine stated, offended.  
  
"No, no love. But what you are is a fine lady and I just wanted to be a gentleman is all." He grinned mischeviously and Catherine raised an eyebrow in response.  
  
"Alright, Mr. Sparrow. I suppose one drink wouldn't hurt. But that's all."  
  
"Anything you say, love." 


	2. The Tavern

The tavern was roudy and loud, and Catherine was fairly uncomfortable in it. She sat quietly at a table waiting for Jack to return. Eventually he did, and he carried to glasses with him. He sat down and plopped the mug in front of her, allowing some to spill out.  
  
"There you are, now drink it up!" He grinned as he held his mug out to her in a toast, but Catherine did not return the favour. Instead she looked at the drink curiously.  
  
"What is this?" She asked, taking a sniff and retorting quickly.  
  
"It's rum, love." He said gently, but with a hint of amusement. "Jus' drink it, it's good. I promise."  
  
She nodded and slowly brought the glass to her lips, allowing a tiny amount of the dark liquid to escape into her mouth. Catherine immediately spat it out as a look of disgust crossed her face. "This is vile!" She exclaimed. Jack immediately started laughing. Catherine decided she would have no more of it and decided to leave.  
  
Jack grabbed Catherine's wrist just as she was about to leave and pulled her down onto his lap. "I'm sorry love." He smirked.  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Sparrow, but you're quite inebriated and I think now shall be the time I depart."  
  
"Well, then allow me to walk you home love. Wouldn't want you to be ravished by blood thirsty pirates or something, now would we?"  
  
Catherine shuddered at the mention of pirates. More than once she had a run in with those disgusting creatures, and never again did she want to meet one.  
  
"Alright Mr. Sparrow. You have convinced me."  
  
"Good, good love. And it's Captain, if you wouldn't mind." 


	3. Heroes Amongst Theives

Disclaimer: I forgot this part, teehee!! I own nothing but my own character.  
  
Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. This is my first fanfic on here so I'm a bit nervous. Things have been positive so far and I hope that's good. Things are going to get more ARR rated later on (hehehe ARR!!).  
  
Anyways.  
  
GO!  
  
Catherine walked quietly beside Captain Sparrow through the streets of Tortuga. She occasionally stole a small glance at the handsome man only to find her gaze met by his each time.  
  
"We're almost there Mr. Sparrow." Catherine said gently.  
  
"Aye." He replied softly, trying his best to be gentlemanly. He was unsuccessful in doing so, as he tripped over some rock while stealing a glimpse of this beautiful woman's body. Jack attempted to recover from this embarrassing display by laughing quietly. "Must've been the rum." He remarked.  
  
"Indeed." She responded, speeding her pace.  
  
"Wait, love. I really want to know . . . what in the hell where you doing sleeping in the middle of the street in Tortuga?"  
  
"For your information Mr. Sparrow, I don't believe I was sleeping as I would never have picked such a place to rest."  
  
"The what exactly did you think you were doing?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't remember much."  
  
"Well then love, I s'pose it's a rather good thing I found you and not somebody with less than good intentions."  
  
"And you're telling me that you had good intentions?" Catherine raised her eyebrows and pointed a finger, prodding his chest. "I'm not as stupid as you may think, Mr. Sparrow. I've seen where you've let your gaze wonder. And I'm a lady, not some whore. So, thank you for walking me, but now I think I shall say goodbye."  
  
Jack bowed overdramatically and smirked. "As you wish, love. Remember though, I was only doing you good. It was you who was sleeping out in the street, and if you really are the lady you say then you would know that ladies do not rest in the roads. Especially not in the roads of Tortuga. But I'll be off then, goodnight fair lady."  
  
"I was not sleeping in the road!" Catherine nearly yelled the words out, her face glowing red as her hands slowly clenched into fists.  
  
"Then what where you doing, exactly?"  
  
Catherine suddenly looked dazed. "As much as I remember, Mr. Weaver and I got into an argument. I think he probably took a swing at me and it was a bit too hard. He was quite drunk though. I'm not really sure what else happened." Catherine's eyes looked off into nothing and Jack stared at her for a moment, his brow furrowed and anger flashing for a split second in his eyes.  
  
"Well love, you must know that it is not very nice to hit a girl. Who is this man? I will have him dealt with."  
  
"Oh, stop trying to be the hero Mr. Sparrow. I don't need you or anybody else to help me, and if you think something like this is going to win my heart then you've been reading far too many romance stories. Now, if you'll excuse me."  
  
But Jack wasn't letting her go anywhere.  
  
"Beg your pardon, love, but I'm not trying to be nobody's hero. And I don't need your heart, either. I have me ship and the ocean and that's all I will ever need. It is just my belief that you don't strike a girl. So go on your merry way then, and I'm terribly sorry for trying to be of help to you." Jack let hurt cross his expression only breifly and quickly replaced it with contempt as he suddenly turned on his heels and sauntered off into Tortuga.  
  
Catherine sighed to herself and wrapped her arms around her body as a cool breeze swept through the small port town. She quietly walked over to a dark ally and slid down to the cold ground. She rested her chin on her knees and stared into the dark nothingness in front of her.  
  
"You don't need anybody's help. Especially not his." She whispered the words to herself almost silently as she closed her eyes and allowed sleep to overtake her. 


	4. Bloody Pirates!

Disclaimer: I own nothin  
  
Author's Note: This one's a bit longer. I'm not sure if it's too dragged on so review please and give me suggestions. I don't want to bore anyone.  
  
On with the show:  
  
Catherine walked through the busy streets of Tortuga quickly. She was always uneasy in this town at night, and this night was no acception. As she passed a certain tavern she stopped dead in her tracks if only for a moment to remember him. She replayed the sound of his voice in her head. A small sigh came from her as she shook her head and walked on. "He's probably long gone by now." She said quietly. 'And why would you want anything to do with him, anyway? He's a disgusting, perverted man who you shouldn't have even conversed with!' Angered by her thoughts, Catherine walked faster, trying harder to get away from the darkness of the town which influenced her thoughts to that of him. 'Captain Jack Sparrow, was it?'  
  
"Look who it is!" Came the deep, laughing voice that had haunted Catherine's thoughts. She felt an arm wrap around her shoulder and a nose press up against her cheek as she was halted from her pace "I thought I'd never see you again, love! Come back for more of ol' Jack?"  
  
"I certainly did not!" Catherine cried. She pulled away from Jack quickly, causing them both to stumble in opposite directions.  
  
"Now love! I don't bite." He said somewhat softly, regaining his compusure and stumbling closer to her. "Come on with me, lass! We never did get to those drinks the other night, now did we?"  
  
Catherine began to protest, but found herself being dragged into a shady, dark pub by a seemingly shady, dark man. He pulled her over to a booth and nearly pushed her onto the seat as he smoothly sat across from her.  
  
"Drinks all around!" He excaimed, pushing his arms out to the sides and grinning madly.  
  
"That's quite alright, Mr. Sparrow. I'll just be on my way." She was beginning to fear the spontaneity of this man. She could never tell what he would do next.  
  
"Nonsense, love." She sighed in defeat as Jack called for two glasses of rum.  
  
"I told you, rum is a disgusting, vile drink!" Catherine sputtered, scruntching her nose up to show her complete distaste for Captain Sparrow at the moment.  
  
"You need to get an open mind, love." Jack said calmy and smiled as the rum was delivered to the table. He raised his eyebrows at Catherine and then his glass. "Here's to rum!" He grinned wildly and promptly drained the contents of the mug.  
  
Catherine, however, watched the scene in disgust. "I bet you couldn't even handle rum if you wanted to, anyway." Jack laughed, whiping his mouth off with the sleeve of his already too dirty shirt.  
  
"I should hope you learn some manners, Mr. Sparrow."  
  
Jack rolled his eyes are her and sighed too exasperatedly.  
  
Catherine ignored his reaction and looked at him in wonder. "And how do you know if I can or can not hold my liquor?" She asked, obviously offended.  
  
"Because you're a lady and not some whore!" He nearly shouted his comment, pushing his hands out to her from across the table as if he expected her to put her hands into his. Catherine scoffed and kicked at his legs angrily.  
  
"Oh, come now love. You couldn't even handle the taste of rum. How do you expect me to believe you'd be able to keep it down then? Rum isn't some fine wine, you know. You don't just sip at it." He tilted his head to the side and gazed at her solemnly. "Just merely there to be enjoyed." His lips then parted slowly into an inviting grin. He then pushed her glass towards her slowly, never letting his eyes part from hers.  
  
Catherine suddenly felt uneasy, but let the feeling pass. She glanced down at the mug of dark liquid, which had been pushed nearly to the edge of the table, and back to Jack's smirking face. In one quick gesture she lifted the mug up to her lips and drank.  
  
Once the rum was finished she dropped the glass back down to the table and glared at Jack, "I told you I could."  
  
"Aye, lass, you drank it. But you said you could also hold it down."  
  
"I will." She responded meakly, staring in disbelief at her now empty mug.  
  
"That's a girl!" Jack exclaimed, waiving to the barkeep for another round of drinks. "Soon enough you'll be drinking like us pirates!" He reached over the table and patted her shoulder with his hand firmly.  
  
Catherine's head snapped up quickly and her expression went from shock to anger. "YOU!" She shouted abruptly, "A pirate!"  
  
"That's right love . . ." He said, obviously bemused. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, infamous pirate of the Caribbean, and the whole world!" Pride had overtaken the surprise in his voice and he shot her another of his cheeky grins.  
  
"But pirates are awful, ugly creatures and I want no part of them!" She cried out, jumping up from her seat and stomping away madly, fighting back her tears. How could the man who haunted her thoughts night and day be nothing but a terrible, awful, ihorrible pirate?/i  
  
Her mind was racing and as she exited the pub she allowed her waiting tears to stream down her face. 'Why do you do such things to yourself, Catherine? And you honestly were falling for the stupid man!'  
  
Jack, however, was not exactly pleased at her reaction and came stumbling out of the pub after her. He saw her and grinned, forgetting the reason he was angry as his thoughts became filled with the young beauty in front of him. He stumbled and slid over to her and grabbed her from behind, his hands clasping together at her waist.  
  
"Why'd you run off from Captain Jack, love?" He slurred quietly into her ear, only a hint of charm in his voice.  
  
"You're a bloody pirate!" She shouted, throwing him off of her and backing off.  
  
"So?" He asked, concentrating on balancing himself. "The way I see it love, is-" Jack's face suddenly turned a pale shade of green as he clutched his stomach and fell to his knees. "I don't feel very well . . ." He moaned.  
  
Catherine looked away as the contents of his stomach found themselves a new home on the side of the pub.  
  
"Filthy pirates!" 


	5. Drunk, Love?

Disclaimer: I own nothing  
  
Author's Note: This is where it gets explicit (kind of, I am bad at writing sex scenes so please bare [teehee] with me). Sooo if you don't like that kind of stuff then don't read it.  
  
. . .  
  
"And I suppose now I should be expected to take care of you, isn't that right Mr. Sparrow?" Catherine asked, still turned away from Jack. When she received no response she slowly turned to look at him and found him collapsed, sprawled out and snoring lightly. She groaned and sat down next to him, bringing her knees to her chin. The oppurtunity to get a really good look at his face was taken quickly by Catherine as she studied his hard, handsome features. 'You're still a filthy pirate Jack. Nothing will change that.'  
  
Her hand absentmindedly roamed his face, lightly stroking his jawline and the coarse hair along it. Her fingers slowly made their way to his slightly parted lips, which she softly carressed. 'What would it be like to kiss you I wonder?' Catherine brought back her hand quickly at the thought. 'Don't you dare think that way, you stupid girl.'  
  
She glared at Jack as if somehow the thoughts that tainted her mind were his fault and looked away. "I suppose I can't just leave you here alone, now can I?" She asked to no one in particular. "Stupid pirate. Stupid, istupid/i pirate." Catherine shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. "You got the better of me, Jack."  
  
"Captain Jack, love." Jack mumbled as he struggled to sit up straight. "How can you honestly expect anyone to get decent sleep if you never shut up?" He questioned, pushing himself up to a standing position.  
  
"I was only wanting to know why you were sleeping in the middle of the road." Catherine thought breifly of him making sure she was alright when she was unconscious in the street, but dismissed the thought quickly. So what if he had helped her? She found herself staring up at him as he looked down on her.  
  
"You're a beautiful woman Catherine." He breathed, holding out his hand for her to take.  
  
Catherine did not take his hand, but stood up on her own. It was then that the alcohol began to take affect and she felt herself grow unbalanced and lightheaded.  
  
"And gentlemen do not talk to ladies in such ways that you do, Mr. Sparrow."  
  
"Aye, but I'm no gentleman."  
  
Catherine attempted to simply walk away from him, but tripped instead. She stumbled and nearly fell, and would have if it weren't for Jack who stepped in swiftly to keep her up.  
  
"Drunk, love?"  
  
Catherine merely looked up at Jack, her hands on his shoulders and his arm around her waist, pulling her nose to nose with him. "Pirate or no pirate Jack . . ." She leaned in close to him and pushed her lips onto his. Before she knew what she was doing he was kissing her back hungrily, tightening his grip on her waist. The kiss was broken as Jack whispered into her ear lowly, "I knew you'd come around, love."  
  
Before she knew it she was being whisked away by the wrist to a small, dirty looking inn. "What's going on?" She slurred as she stumbled along behind him.  
  
"We're finding a place to rest, love."  
  
"Oh, okay, I'm really very tired." She stated, nearly tripping over her shoes. "Whooo-aah!"  
  
"Careful, darling."  
  
Jack left Catherine outside the Inn to ease her stomach as he rented them a room. He noted the seedy ambience of the building but shrugged it off just as quickly. He smirked to himself and drifted outside in a drunken haze to fetch Catherine, who was slouched against a wall with a look of elation on her face.  
  
"I feel better." She grinned at Jack.  
  
"So do I, love." He smiled back and gently pulled Catherine to her feet, leading her into the building. "Come along now."  
  
The room was nobody's dream. It was dark and dreary, the walls splotched with filth. The curtain appeared to have been torn from the window and the glass was cracked. Moonlight was the only available light source as it streamed in through the window and showed the tiny perimeter of the room.  
  
Jack stumbled inside, pulling Catherine along by her waist. Once he had closed the door he turned back to face Catherine, who had found the bed and was at the moment falling into a light sleep. Jack got down next to her and found her lips once more, pulling her in toward him. Catherine responded by kissing back softly, but slowly. She allowed quiet sounds to escape her throat as his hands explored her body, tugging at her dress insistantly trying to pull it off at the same time.  
  
Suddenly Catherine gasped and broke the mesmerizing kiss. "I'm drunk . . . I can't do this . . . no . . ." She began to shake, shuffling to get off the bed. Jack gently pulled her back down next to him.  
  
"You didn't have much to drink, love." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her. "But I think we both know we want this. So why deny yourself?" He was getting restless and wanted nothing more than to be with this woman.  
  
"I'm not a whore . . ."  
  
"Nobody said you were."  
  
"I think I'm falling in love with you." Catherine squeaked and immediately covered her mouth with her hand. 'YOU STUPID GIRL!'  
  
Jack smirked at her obvious discomfort and pulled her hand from her lovely, soft, inviting mouth. "Do you want this, or don't you?"  
  
Catherine nodded slowly. She could feel his eyes on her, looking at her like that . . . soon she felt his breath on her face and then his lips on hers. She relaxed ever so slowly and sank into the bed, his hand once again exploring the curves of her body.  
  
She soon became dazed and was only vaguely aware of her dress being removed, with some struggle. She wriggled around trying to help Jack get rid of the garment and then felt his mouth trace small kisses down her chin, her neck, down to where he let his eyes wander so many times. Catherine shivered and let a tiny moan depart from her lips as his tongue traced tiny circles on her nipple, his hand on the other, rubbing and pinching lightly.  
  
Once he was satisfied with his work he continued his way down, past her navel and down to her lips. He parted them gently and ran his finger up towards her tiny nub. Catherine twitched slightly and gasped as he touched her clit gently, rubbing it softly.  
  
"Do you like that, love?" He asked throatily, resting his nose against her cheekbone. Catherine only nodded and moaned softly. Jack smiled and shifted himself so he was crouching next to her thighs. He continued to rub the extremely sensitive area as he inserted another finger into her awaiting sex. Jack smiled at the wetness he found inside her and began to slowly push his finger in and out, giving her only a small taste of what was to come.  
  
He planted a small kiss on her stomach and stopped the wonderful work he was doing with his hands to undress himself. He removed his clothing quickly, throwing it in any direction, and turned his attention back to her. He gently nudged her legs further apart with his knees and bent over her shaky, sweaty body. "Are you sure you want this?"  
  
"Yes . . . please . . ." She whispered, her heart quickening its pace in anticipation. Jack stroked her jaw gently and kissed her again before she could feel his penis poking at her entrance.  
  
He slowly pushed himself inside of her, feeling her hips suddenly push up into him as she moaned with complete pleasure. Jack braced himself on the bed with his hands as he began fucking her, quickening his pace significantly. Catherine whimpered and moaned as he thrusted harder, low husky groans signifying his pleasure.  
  
Jack soon became breathless and Catherine could feel him tense up as he cried out and slowed his thrusts considerably, spilling his seed inside of her.  
  
He collapsed next to her and pulled her close to him, grinning like a madman.  
  
"Did you enjoy that as much as I did, love?" He murmured in her ear.  
  
"Yes . . ." She trailed off softly, '. . . I enjoyed it, but it wasn't half of what I expected.' Catherine sighed, "Goodnight Captain Sparrow."  
  
"Jack, love."  
  
"Goodnight then, Jack."  
  
"Goodnight." 


End file.
